Twice the Man

My Grandpa (Pa Pa) will turn 80 at the end of this month.  At this very moment, he is nine hours away from me in a hospital following a heart attack he had this past Friday.  He had a heart catheterization today, after which they thought he was going to be able to go home.  Turns out, he's got more blockages than they anticipated, and he's been transferred to a bigger hospital for evaluation to see if he's a candidate for open heart surgery.  Obviously, this has made his mortality very real to me. 

My Pa Pa's story is one of my favorites to tell.  I can't promise I'll get all of the details correct, because it's a bit of a family legend at this point, but here's the nuts & bolts of it:  When he was very young (late teens/early 20s), he had a stroke, resulting in the paralysis of the right side of his body.  At the time that he had his stroke, he was dating my Grandma.  He told her at that point that he didn't think that they should get married, because he didn't want her to marry "half a man."  She refused to take this as an answer and she married him anyway.  They are working on 58 years together this year.  They have raised four children and have been blessed with thirteen grandchildren (geez, I hope I got us all.....) and twelve great-grandchildren. 

To say that my Pa Pa is talented would be the understatement of the century.  Looking back on my childhood, I know that I never once viewed him as handi-capped.  I knew vividly what he was capable of.  He was an artist--he could make the most beautiful pictures from paint or chalk or whatever medium he had.  He could sing.  He could preach--a devout and amazing Christian, he could never be called a hypocrit.  He is now - and has been my entire life - a man of God.  He was a carpenter--I have a multitude of different items he's made, from jewelery boxes to toy boxes to book shelves. 

One of my favorite talents that Pa Pa has, though, is his ability to tell a story.  Now, you have to have some time to hear a Pa Pa story, because being long-winded is something that runs in my blood for a reason.  But he can paint a picture with words and have you hanging on every sentence.  He tells the absolute best stories.  And I absolutely adore his laugh.  Pa Pa has always known how to laugh, especially at himself. 

The thing that I admire about him the most is his strength.  As I said earlier, I have never viewed him as handicapped.  He never wanted to be treated that way.  If there was ever anyone in my life that literally taught me that when you fall, you have to pick yourself back up, it was this man.  It used to hurt me so bad when I'd watch him fall growing up.  He'd skin up his arms, his knees, and sometimes his forehead, nose, and chin.  After we made sure he was okay, we'd tease him about his road rash.  He's one of the most amazing men I have ever and will ever know, and I am beyond blessed that he is mine. 

So, as I sit here at the computer tonight, nine hours away from my Grandpa, I am reassured with a couple of facts.  I saw him this July, and he was happy.  The only thing that bothers him is that his hearing aids are horrible, so he has a really hard time participating in conversations.  This bothers him a lot.  But it was so awesome to see him sitting in his recliner laughing and smiling, just at peace with the presence of the family around him.  He told me during this visit what I've known for a long time--that he's had a great life and when the good Lord is ready to take him home, he's ready to go.  It was admittedly hard to hear, because I don't want to lose him for so many obvious reasons, but I find peace in knowing that he means it.  I know that he's not afraid.  He knows where he's going, and he knows we'll see each other again one day. 

I'm not in any way saying that my Grandpa is at death's door--my uncle says that, for right now, everything is still okay.  I'm just waiting for updates.  I guess, like I said earlier, it just makes the mortality kinda front and center. 

So, I guess, what I'm trying to say in all of this is that I am really, really beyond thankful that God chose to give this man to me as my grandfather.  I sincerely feel from the very bottom of my heart that I have the best grandparents on the planet (I'll save my Grandma's Girl gushing for another post).  I truly hope that God intends to let me enjoy life with him for just a little bit longer.  I especially want my boys to get to spend just a little more time with him.  They adore my grandparents (as if anyone couldn't....).  But, I know that when the day comes, my grandpa's got a whole lot of rewards waiting for him on the other side.  He's never been half of a man--he's been twice the man that most men are.  I've always believed that when you go to heaven, you become "whole" again.  I wonder if my Pa Pa would be offended if I want "whole" for him to be exactly as he is now....but with better hearing.....

I love you, Pa Pa.  Words cannot express...